Saturday, September 22, 2012

Small Wonders

On our honeymoon two years ago, Mike and I christened our handheld video camera "small wonder."  We took it with us on our adventures along the Pacific Coastal Trail to the local bakery to the backyard to capture our wild turkey and bobcat sitings.  Documenting daily wonders truly reminds me that there rests an orb of deep joy within every moment.  

Today I want to document a wondrous moment.  This moment is not even close to the most wondrous moment as of late, but a small wonder of its own right.  Months ago, I signed up for one of my favorite trail races, a half marathon race called the Surly Trail Loppet.  I have run this race a few times, each time breaking last year's record.  This year, I was not expecting to break any records since I decided to run the 5k instead of my usual half marathon.  For good reason- I am going to be a mama!  (The most wondrous of wondrous small wonder!)   

I actually only started running again a few weeks ago after a 2 months hiatus.  Each day, I ask myself: How you doing?  Up for a little fresh air and movement?  And everyday that my body says "YES!", I head out to run with pure gratitude.  

That's how I felt this morning.  I entered the race with no plan.  I told myself that I am allowed to stop, walk, jump, leap over trees, whatever felt good.  I warmed up with an easy 2 mile jog and then waited for the race to begin.  

Well, by some weird trick of nature, I won my age group.  A new record for me!  A small wonder.  
So what have I learned?  Well, everyday I've been learning so much.  I feel different.  Motherhood is going to change me.  I've learned that I won't always be able to do the things that I want to do.  There is  a little one who already needs me to slow down and I am learning that I might be okay with that.  But, today, I also learned that slowing down can bring surprises.  

A few days ago, I was reading through old journals.  Here's an entry from high school: "My mom said that these next ten years are ging to be a fast, huge, unstoppable decision-making exciting time until I reach the biggest decision of all, who I should marry and whether or not we should have kids.  Then things will slow dow" (8/12/00).  

And here I am, a little over ten years later, married to the man of my dreams and a baby on the way.  Mom's right; things are slowing down but I am as happy and filled with wonder as ever.